I sometimes hear from wives who are under the impression that their husband doesn't care about their opinion after he has cheated zoosk.com Reviews or had an affair. In fact, they think that he could care less as to whether or not they have a very negative opinion about him and his actions.
You might hear a wife explain it
this way: "when I caught my husband cheating on me, he was frankly
indignant. He acted as if I was the one who did something wrong by snooping on
him. He acted like he was the one who was being wronged, which only made me
more furious at him. So, I started telling him how wretched I thought his
actions were and how I thought only losers would lie to their spouses and cheat
in the dark behind someone's back like a coward. After these conversations, my
husband always mutters something like: 'I could care less what you think of me.
Your opinion of me means absolutely nothing. zoosk I only
care about my own feelings and my own happiness.' Is he serious about this? Do
men who cheat really not care what their wife thinks of them after an
affair?"
Well, many husbands do attempt to
make this claim. But, I believe that in many cases they do this because they
are defensive. They often claim that they feel that they are being attacked so
they are trying to defend themselves. I believe that some of them are trying to
posture and have some influence over their position in their marriage. And I
believe that some of them pretend to have this reaction because they are trying
to bluff you out of continuing to verbally attack them or to question their
character, zoosk.com no matter who justified this may feel at the
time.
Admittedly, I am not a husband who
has cheated. But I do hear from a lot of them on my blog. And many do express
regret over their actions. Many do very much care what their wives think,
especially once a little time has gone by. And I find this to be true even if
the marriage ends. I've even had men tell me that although a lot of time has
passed and both spouses have moved on with other people, they will always
regret how they treated their spouse. They do have regret. Because I don't know
many people who can be proud of that type of betrayal and lies.
And let's think of it another way.
Think for a second about all of your long term relationships. Your family. Your
closest friends. People who you grew up with. Your classmates since grade
school. Do you care what these people think of you deep in your heart? Of
course you do. Because they are long term fixtures in your life. You have
likely been through both good times and bad times together. And they know you
to your core. Sometimes, they know what you are thinking or feeling before you
even share it. And this is why you care what they think. They know you. They
know which behaviors are true to you and which are not.
Your marriage is likely the same
way. Even if you and your spouse disagree about something or are having marital
problems, you likely still care what he thinks of you in the same way that you
would of any other long term relationship in your life. This is just human
nature.
It is likely that your husband
wishes that he didn't care what you thought of him. But this likely isn't
reality. Probably, it is painful for him to realize how much he has hurt and
disappointed you so he would rather pretend that he doesn't care at all.
At the end of the day though, what
matters more than what you think of his actions is to where you go from here.
Because at some point, you have to go beyond both of your perceptions and
feelings and you have to decide where you progress. I agree that you have every
right to your opinion. And I had a strong opinion about my own husband's
behavior after his affair. I didn't care if he agreed with my opinion. Frankly
I didn't care if he thought of my opinion at all. It wasn't going to change
either way.
Frankly, each spouse's thoughts and
feelings will always be up for debate. Emotions are high. You will likely
disagree on many things right now. He may well think that you are wrong in your
opinion of him and what he has done. But I doubt that he doesn't care. And I
also suspect that deep down, he shares some of your opinions. That's just my
opinion though and obviously everyone has their own.
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